When you first walk into the place you realize that you have to stop walking forward to acclimate correctly to the sub artic temperature that most casinos in Vegas have. They actually build strange turbines and buildings to be able to combat the heat of the Vegas desert. Then you look up, and to the side, and you realize that you have walked into a strange world. There are people walking around you, beautiful women, chiseled men, and then there’s that Borg over there. No. over there by the Ferrengi. That’s the strangeness.
We walked up to the counter to get our tickets and of course, it being Vegas, we’re asked if we need help. We both run the “how much for what “thing and the guy gives us the greatest help I’ve ever had in a casino or anywhere else except for Disneyland. I’ll try to remember it for ya here…
Us..”what kind of discounts do you have?AAA?”
Him..”sure. AAA is good, but there are better ones.”
Us..”ok..And where does one get these said discounts of greater discountyness?”
The live event helped to get us prepared I tell ya.
Him…”Well. I’m not supposed to tell you that if you walk out to the monorail, and look for a kiosk, and look in one of the magazines out there, I’m not supposed to tell you that you’ll find greater discounts in there.”
Us…”Well thank you for not telling us these things and therefore jeopardizing your job.” As we tried not to giggle like freaky late 30’s early 40’s school children and followed his explicit non directions to said non kiosk and found said non discounts. After acquisition of said non discounts we went up to the counter and realized we had got ourselves 16 dollars off of the main price tag. So with tickets in our pockets and lightness in our steps we headed into the experience.
Now from the roof are suspended a gigantic model of the Enterprise, the Voyager, and a Klingon bird of prey. There is a walkway that winds up into the area that the “ride” takes place at that has the entire time line from the beginning of the star trek universe to the end of it. For the record that’s from Copernicus to I think the data jump across the two ships in Nemesis. So now, as we walk up further into the bowels of the experience, the perma grins on our faces are starting to hurt. We’re seeing the suits, on quite provocative plastic mannequins, of the two Klingon sisters from Generations. We’re seeing the actual suit that the shape shifter dude wore in deep space nine. It’s a complete and utter geek festival for me and my bruthah. So we’re standing in the enterprise experience line and the guy in front of us starts in on the “if you have a Borg experience ticket come forward. There’s only a few seats available and we’re leaving soon.” Which he repeats about 8 times and yet we deviate not a jot from our intended task and we remain in line for the star trek experience.
Now at this point will I actually tell you what happens? No, of course I won’t. Let’s just say the smile of total and complete geek satisfaction on each of our faces is huge and uncompromising. As we head out the exit to the ride we enter, after the star trek shops where single episodes on DVD are 20 bucks a pop, we went to Quarks bar. Now for those of you that are not in the “know” Quark was a Ferrengi character on Deep Space Nine that was, as his race decrees, a shiftless horse trader of the lowest degree. And I mean that as a compliment. Within this bar of bars we, my bruthah and I, were savy enough to split the 30 dollar cost of a “Warp Core Breach”. Now this drink comes with 5 different kinds of rum and is served in a 10 gallon goldfish bowl with its own little holder for said bowl. It was worth EVERY PENNY. The taste was exquisite and the fact that they serve it with dry ice so it bubbles like a witch’s brew from hell was just the sort of perk that we wanted, needed, and deserved. After we shot the incriminating photo and got to downin this thing the buzz was pleasant and not too overwhelming. Kinda one a those were ya know ya feel buzzed, but it takes about 7 steps to truly know the extent of the buzz and that it’ll take at least three hours and some water from the ever present Nalgene bottle at my side to be at least remotely able to drive again. So why not do the Borg?
We did the Borg and we did them well. And yes, it’s another ride I refuse to tell you all about. It was awesome and a requirement to any trekker to ensure that at some point they get to Vegas and do the gambit. And don’t forget to hit the Bar and have a drink.
